Algonquin, usually referred to as “Alley” but sometimes called “Gonk,” does not understand why all the other girls are so obsessed with boys… especially vampire boys. It hasn’t been long since post-humans [vampires and werewolves] came out to expose Megamart for creating a slave-labor workforce of zombies, but it quickly became cool to be goth and/or to date a vampire. Old fashioned adults like Mrs. Smollet (a vampire guidance counselor) don’t always approve of such mixed dating, but teen love (lust?) knows no bounds! When Alley meets Doug, she finally starts to understand why all the other girls make such a big deal about having a boyfriend. The problem lies in the fact that, while she finally found something to make life in Iowa less boring, zombies aren’t exactly built to last.